The Super Bowl is nigh, and it is important that no modern gal or guy spend this very important day alone. This is after all one of the greatest American holidays — the final act of football until at least August, the (supposed) greatest pro teams in the country and the day when companies pull out all the stops to earn your business.
The day can lose some of its luster if you’re the unfortunate soul who’s hosting this year’s Super Bowl fiesta, what with drunken guests who have the tendancy to spill your delicious chili all over your beige carpet.
The following are some suggestions from The Modern Gal on how to increase the chances of your party going smoothly and without incident.
1. Don’t break out the fancy china. In fact, hide anything that could break. Go paper or plastic.
2. Same goes with the nice towels. Paper will suffice.
3. Rethink your living room’s furniture arrangement. Rearrange for unimpeded traffic flow from the couch to the kitchen/bathroom. Add additional seating, folding chairs that you don’t care about are best.
4. Consider putting slipcovers on everything. You may want to lose the fancy rug too.
5. If you have rugrats of the human or animal variety, find a place where they can play together without hurting one another.
6. More than one TV can be useful. Tivo also helpful.
7. If you have diehard fans supporting opposite teams, put them on opposite sides of the room.
8. Empty the trash just before halftime.
9. Put a cup of coffee or water in everyone’s hands during the fourth quarter. Or at least everyone who’s driving.