I’ve spent the whole morning pondering my life as I’m about to turn a year older. I’ve written this post probably three times now only to erase it and start over again.
I wanted to write something wise, witty and thought-provoking about life and aging and when do we all mature and settle and have things figured out. But the thing I keep coming back to is this: I have no f’ing clue.
Here I am at 26 — an age that 10 years ago I would have said “that’s old!” and “sure I’ll be married and settled by then, maybe I’ll even have a kid!” I know 26 isn’t old, but I’m not sure how I feel about marriage right now and I definitely don’t want any kids at the present time. I’m not sure if I like my job enough to stick with it much longer, but I don’t have a clue what I would do with my life otherwise.
Basically I don’t have any better sense about where my life is going than I did ten years ago. That both scares the crap out of me and makes me sad. Shouldn’t I be a few steps beyond where I was as a 16 year old?
Happy (early?) Birthday to you! Life is complex, full of unexpected twists and turns that often blindside us. Sometimes I think it’s not so much having it figured out as it is enjoying the ride and treasuring the experiences that fill our time. I hope that makes sense. Have a wonderful birthday!
Yah just when you think you get where you want to be, usually it all changes and you find yourself in a completely new direction anyhow. This is the fun part of life, otherwise everyday would be predictable similar.
I had the same existential crisis when I was in my mid-20s. I called it my quarter-life crisis. LIttle did I know how trendy that term was and there are books out there on how to deal with it. I have no reassuring words to offer except this: I am now 33 and I still don’t know what I want to do/be when I grow up. I am married with a child but I am restless. I contemplate moving and trying something new. My job offers no real satisfaction: my architect husband has a career; I have a job (note the difference, his is a calling). Fear and inertia keep me from changing things.
So take heart: this could very well be something you feel at other periods in your life! The trick is figuring out how to move past it.
It’s not my birthday, but I’ve been struggling mightily with the exact same questions — a ton. I’m 28, and I feel like I have things together way less than I did when I was 18. Things I thought were sure have gone right out the window. Maybe this is normal, I don’t know. But for now, I think it sort of stinks.
Reading that, it doesn’t sound all that encouraging, but I guess we’re all in this together?
I know exactly how you feel, and I think it’s completely normal. Scratch that — it’s better than normal. Isn’t it better that you’re thinking about all those important life decisions now, and therefore more inclined to make them better, than you would if this had not hit you until your mid-40s? It’s good that you think about it now so you still have time to change the things you don’t like about your life.
I struggle with this on a weekly basis. Granted things are going the way I had “hoped” yet, I don’t know what I want the outcome to be. I am not where I had planned to be at my age, and at this point still don’t know what I want to be when and if I grow up. Think this is the what so many are talking about when they mention the quarter-life crisis. Good luck with it all and Happy Birthday!
have a great birthday!
and all those thoughts you just had? are completely normal and i TOTALLY feel you.
Would it make you feel any better to know that I’m 38 and going through these same thoughts? Except that I’ve got kids & ditched the hubby.
I’m not sure where my life is going and it probably won’t end up where I plan but I’m learning to just enjoy the ride, as it were.
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Happy early birthday! It’s tough when you get into your mid- to late-twenties and wonder if you should be more “advanced” than you are. I always keep in mind that it could always be worse and that helps.
If it’s any consolation as a fellow 26-year-old I’m feeling that too. I’m confident I’ll figure it all out soon. If not soon enough, I hope to at least get some crazy adventures out of it!
It’s after midnight, so happy birthday!
I think you’ll be fine! 🙂
p.s. I think one tiny-adventure could involve tequila shots. You up for it?!
Happy Birthday! I wouldn’t worry too much- you have it together way more than most 26 year olds. No one ever really feels like they’ve figured it all out. Have a great birthday!
Happy birthday! I’ll give you the advice that I always do when I hear about existential crises: live in the now. Your life is happening right now. If you are trying to set goals and consider achieving those goals to be the thing that determines you’ve “made it”, you’re only going to find yourself wanting the next thing. Just enjoy the now, this is where you’re supposed to be.
Happy Birthday!
Noelle’s advice is awesome. I’d also throw in — take a few risks to get closer to the things you think you might want. It gets harder and harder to do that the older and more settled you get. Have fun.
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday.
I hope we all feel really young forever. I think that’s better.
Happy birthday!