Modern gals, what is the first rule of communicating with a woman? Unsure? Mull on it a minute while I tell a very short story.
Sunday night, I got called into work and had to meet with some people out in the field (sorry, can’t give you any more detail than that … if that bugs you, ask me about it in an e-mail).
I ended up meeting with these two ladies who live next door to one another in a duplex. They were nice and chatty, so we stood around for a while in the 90-degree heat/90-percent humidity.
I was glad that in my rushed state of having to get ready for work, I decided to grab my thin jersey dress from the Gap that fits in such a way that it allows for plenty of ventilation. I think it’s a cute dress — it’s sleeveless, V-neck, ties at an empire waist and flares out from there.
The ladies kept looking at me funnily, not in a mean way, just a curious way. Finally one of them said, “are you pregnant, sweetie?”
Enter mortification here.
Now ladies, what’s the first rule in communicating with a woman? If you guessed “never ask her if she’s pregnant,” you would be correct.
Granted, any empire-waisted clothing item tends to do bad things for your belly’s appearance, no matter how many pounds you’ve lost. Still, I think I’m burning the dress in the first fire of the cold season.
Do NOT burn your dress! A better response (than burning your dress) might be “No. Why? Are you intentionally mean?” I know this was not the appropriate thing to say when on duty for work, but still, you can think it.
Ugh, I’m sorry, MG! That’s awful (not to mention one of my nightmares).
That once happened to one of my friends in Capri, Italy. We had just finished hiking up a huge hill (all of us in flip-flops) and an old lady was waiting at the top to greet all the hikers. She greeted the five of us enthusiastically.
And then she put her hands on my friend’s belly. In Italian, she said, “You are pregnant? Three months?”
My friend was mortified.
Oh my gosh. So not cool.
I think that they should save some cells in Gitmo for people who ask that question.
Ugh. That is the worst. I also hate being called “sweetie,” just for the record.
At least it wasn’t a cute guy who asked you that, I suppose.
Yeah. I say even if you are physically witnessing a woman giving birth, act as if there is nothing out of the ordinary just to be safe.
I have no idea what an empire waist is, but I’m going to avoid them in the future.
Don’t get rid of the dress. Continue to love it as you did before. Chalk up the woman’s questions to not knowing about current fashion styles.
I have a pooch and I rock the empire waisted dress all the time. I like that I can breathe in it, feel unconstrained, and can eat a good meal without worrying about not being able sit afterward due to a waistband cutting into me.
Look at it this way: Lizzie Bennett wore them, shouldn’t you?
Vanessa: Actually, I think the women were equally mortified when I said no. As long as they learned their lesson.
Kate: The question is just wrong in any language.
FA: yep.
Noelle: Ha! I don’t think anyone (any female) would argue with the legitimacy of Gitmo then!
Courtney: I’ll allow sweetie from certain people but not everyone. And you’re right … I would have dug myself a grave had it been a cute guy.
Mickey: I’m not sure empire waists would be flattering on your figure anyway. Better leave them to your lady.
Jacquelyn: Don’t worry, the dress isn’t going anywhere. It’s still one of my favorites. I just need to remember to bring out the Spanx next time.
Oh! That’s awful! How do you even answer that? It’s completely awkward and horrible.
The dress seems cute who cares about those old bittys. This has happened to me and now I have a huge phobia of someone asking me if I am expecting when wearing dresses or not standing properly. Its just WRONG to ask that question. I have a coworker who is 4 months pregnant and its went around the office but I will not ask her if she is pregnant. She will announce when she feels ready.
Jerks