The Modern Love Machine asked one day if he was allowed to blog here at The Modern Gal, and I said, ‘Of course! I’d be thrilled if you wrote regularly at the MG.’ And then he claimed he had no idea what to blog about. Sheesh. Amateurs.

So instead of come up with his own idea, he asked his students to submit a list of interview questions to him, and he has graciously answered them here so you can all get a chance to know him better. Keep in mind he teaches Algebra and Geometry at an inner-city school, so, yeah.

Here we go …

Q. Why no changy my sucker?
A: Because you don’t know how to spell change.

Q. If you could travel the world were would you go or visit?
A: There are so many places that I would head off to that I’m not sure where I would start. Spain, New Zealand, Japan, Italy, Germany, Vatican City.

Q. Have you ever…been skydiving?
A. No. I’d like to say that it would be a blast, and I would love to do it. I have a feeling though that once I was up there it would be hard for me to jump out of the plane.

Q. Who’s your favorite Marvel hero or villain?
A. I don’t read comic books anymore, but when I was a kid I read a lot of Spiderman and really enjoyed it b/c he was a nerd before he became Spiderman. I always hoped that I would get bitten by a radioactive spider and get those powers too. It didn’t happen.

Q. Why do you teach at XXXXX High School?
A. In reality they are the first ones who offered me a job. Now it’s b/c I love teaching here.

Q. Have your got drunk at a party?
A. I assume you mean have I ever gotten drunk at a party. The answer to that question is yes.

Q. Why are you bald?
A. Technically I’m not bald, I have a receding hair line. So I’m in the process of going bald. To answer your question though I would assume it’s genetics. Also the Modern Gal loves my hair, or lack there of. (Editor’s note: True story)

Q. What kind of music do you listen to?
A. I really enjoy rock, pop, 80’s, 90’s alternative, 90-2000’s rap, old school country, and various other musical stylings. I’ve really been into Ok Go, Them Crooked Vultures, and The Beatles of late.

Q. Why is the ACT so friggin hard?
A. If it was easy then everyone would be able to go to Harvard and they probably wouldn’t like that.

Q. How old was you when you first got drunk?
A. I believe I was a freshman in college, so 18.

Q. Do you party?
A. All the time. My life is one big party.

Q. What inspired you to become a teacher?
A. My parents told me that I had 4 years to graduate from college and then they were going to stop paying for it. I picked something I was good at (Math) and kind of wanted to do (teach). That plus I had an amazing high school calculus teacher by the name of Mr. Stelmaszak. That guy could teach math to a stick.

Q. Was you bald in high school?
A. No I were not.

Q. What’s your name?
A. Bill Liverwurst

Q. What is the meaning of life?
A. I’m not really sure.

Q. Did you party in high school?
A. I did not party a single bit. I was a huge nerd in high school and was often found in my garage with my other nerdy friends playing nerd games.

Q. What does parabola mean?
A. The curve formed by the set of points in a plane that are all equally distant from both a given line (called the directrix) and a given point (called the focus) that is not on the line.

Q. I heard freshman year that you were an atheist is it true, just curious?
A. No that is not true. I haven’t picked a major yet and am still pursuing my options.

Q. Next time you get candy can you get chocolate?
A. I can, although I do believe I went out and bought dum-dum suckers instead. Chocolate is expensive and I don’t make that much.

Q. Can you get me a soda from the teachers machine? I’m really thirsty!
A. No. I’m mean like that.

Q. Who’s your favorite musical artist?
A. Of all time I would have to say Queen. Right now though Ok Go rocks my socks off.

Q. Are you a morning pooper?
A. I’m a pooper. Like most guys I enjoy my poops and don’t like to rush them if I need to, which can often happen in the morning. However sometimes you just go to go.

Q. If you were a fruit what would you be?
A. A lime b/c I would go great with a G&T or tequila.

Q. Have you ever fight at any school?
A. I used to get beat up all the time in middle school. I haven’t been in a fight since then.

Q. Are you two faces with student?
A. I generally try to treat everyone the same, but I will admit if you’re an asshole to me on a regular basis I probably won’t treat you the same as everyone else.

Q. What’s one thing you want to do before you die?
A. I really want to see one of those billboards that shows you what the Powerball jackpot is change numbers. Not sure why, but I think that would be kind of cool.