I haven’t posted in almost a week because I’ve been struggling with a few ideas of what to write. I’ve had a lot of really, really heavy thoughts on my brain lately that have been consuming me. I’ve tried several times to start a blog post to work through my thoughts, and I realized today I’ve got so many thoughts that I probably need several posts, so bear with me for the next few posts as I put wit aside and work through some of this stuff in my brain. I would really love to hear your thoughts when you’re done reading, but I also understand if you’ve got a lot going on right now and want to skip over these.
A lot of the thoughts in my head are rooted in frustration. I’ve become so frustrated with so many things in the world right now, ranging from minutia at work to extistential thoughts about the direction of our society. I’ve bitched enough about work lately, so I’ll take on the larger end of that equation now.
Most everywhere I turn — and I say most because I do still see reminders of the good in people — but most everywhere I turn, people are yelling at each other, whether it’s literally yelling out loud and making argumentative comments online or just having negative thoughts or feelings.
Consider what I encountered over the course of a couple hours last week: hatred and bigotry spewed about Muslims and the mosque and Islamic cultural center to be built near ground zero; hatred and bigotry being spewed both by people who attended the Glenn Beck rally and toward people who attended it; snarky comments on blogs that offer posts that criticize or make fun of things or people; my neighbors who continue to bicker about a proposed mental health facility that may be built on the outskirts of our neighborhood and about the homeless shelter that already exists nearby; work colleagues who bicker about the best course of our company — I read about all of that in just one outing on the Internet last week.
It’s made me weary.
Is the hatred, arguing and negativity growing as our society progresses? Or is the negativity granted a greater voice thanks to the Internet and a 24/7 news cycle? Does it really matter one way or the other? Whether or not the negativity is growing, I worry about the kind of long-term effect it’s going to have on us.
I know that we’re capable of love and constructive conversations — even when we don’t agree on something. And I know I’m preaching to the choir here, because all of my readers and the writers of all the blogs I read regularly demonstrate their love and support. But is it possible to spread that kind of love and support that we experience on a micro level to society at large?
Here’s where I begin to feel helpless. I’d like to think that every little step I take in kindness will cause kindness to catch on elsewhere. But it seems like SUCH AN UPHILL BATTLE. It’s great when we treat each other in our blog community with kindness, but does it really ever spread beyond those borders? I’m often scared to practice kindness and acceptance outside my comfort zones because I fear being rebuffed and becoming further frustrated.
So what can we do that works? What can we as a blog community do outside of our blog communities? Outside of our ‘pay it forward’ memes and positive comments on our friends’ blogs? Outside of the comment sections on news stories that we agree with? Outside of our real-life friends who will listen to us and support us no matter what?
What can we do to make the negativity stop?
I was just pondering a post about this very subject! I think it was brought on by the YouTube videos I watched earlier — three girls made a video of themselves ripping up Justin Bieber posters, and then another girl made a video saying she’d hit the first girls with a full wine bottle if she ever met them, because they desecrated the holy Bieber. I laughed, but was disturbed at the same time.
Here’s what I think: The Internet is a dumping ground for the worst of people. People say all kinds of stuff when they’re hidden behind an alias, things they wouldn’t necessarily say to someone’s face. That doesn’t mean there aren’t good things online, because there certainly are, but it’s a lot easier to be mean when you don’t have to look at the face of the person you’re insulting.
I’ve seen a lot of hatred over the mosque too, and it disappoints me, but I try to keep in mind that negativity and bigotry are nothing new. The Internet makes it more accessible to us, and so I don’t blame you for getting bogged down by it, but some people always have been (and, sadly, probably always will be) racist and judgmental. It’s just how some people are, and unfortunately, people voice their opinions online these days.
The way I see it, I can’t do anything about what those people say, but I *can* do something about how it affects me. You can choose to be part of the problem, or you can choose to be part of the solution. I choose to be part of the solution by not putting out mean things on the Internet. You’re part of the solution, too, lady, so chin up.
Thus concludes my longest comment ever. 🙂
This is a great comment, and I appreciate you taking the time to leave it.
I always feel better when I unplug and just ignore the crap that’s out there on the Internet, but I also can’t help but wondering if by ignoring it, I’m only allowing the problem to fester. Should I also be doing more to counter those ‘worst kind of people’?
One of my favoritest Web sites (yes, I refuse to type website, new style be damned) is Kindovermatter.blogspot.com. It’s full of great little reminders and pictures and it’s the equivalent of taking a deep breath on life. But one the SUPER cool things they have is a section of free printables (http://kindovermatter.blogspot.com/p/kind-over-matters-freebies.html) and they have several PDFs you can print out of kindness cards. The deal is that you print out a few and randomly leave them where ever you go, literally spreading the kindess reminders in your wake. I love the idea.
This one is kindness quotes: http://kindovermatter.blogspot.com/2010/04/freebie-printable-army-of-kind.html
This one is positive statements: http://kindovermatter.blogspot.com/2009/09/freebie-printable-create-positive.html
I love this one, too. http://kindovermatter.blogspot.com/2009/05/freebie-printable-quotation-cards.html
Maybe you can challenge your readers (and have them challenge their own) to have a spread the kindness campaign full of random acts of niceities. And a deliberate moratorium of all the ways we’re intentionally and unintentionally jerky. Cutting people off, not holding a door, thinking that you want to strangle the screaming kid that’s behind you in the checkout line at the grocery store.
I think Courtney’s point is a good one, but I worry about what happens when we get so comfortable with our online anonymity and the power it gives us that we find such behaviors creeping into our offline lives. Just a thought.
It’s hard to find the positive but it IS out there. I can barely stand to watch the news- it’s so negative. For me, I just try to put good positivity out there and surround myself with people who want the same.
I can really relate to your frustration, weariness, and helplessness, but I am encouraged in a strange way. It feels like we’re reaching some sort of tipping point in regards to negativity—like we’re getting close to saying “enough is enough!” I’m glad that you’re asking the difficult, practical questions, like this: “But is it possible to spread that kind of love and support that we experience on a micro level to society at large?” As the frustration level rises and spreads, we need to be ready to step in with a different way to live and relate to others.
It’s so sad that the hate and anger get publicized so much. Having done so much traveling this summer, and getting the opportunity to meet so many people, I have been really in awe of just how wonderful people can be. There’s so much kindness and so many people who have thoughts and emotions and take actions that would never make for a splashy “after the commercial break” lead-in. I wish kindness got more attention, because I think that would be the best way to spread it around. Giving voice to all the people spewing hatred makes it seem like the norm, and that really sucks.
Oh MG I am right there with you. Its hard isn’t it – the world can kind’ve seem like there are mainly horrid people in it. I’m not sure what the answer is but I wanted to let you know you’re not the only person who feels like this. I wonder why its so hard to get perspective?
I totally think Noodles’ idea is fabulous! Spread the kindness! Spread the happy!
I once blogged about how some random stranger in the car head of me paid my toll and how it completely made my day. Now, whenever I go through the toll booth, I do the same thing (if I have enough money to get back through it on my way home). Let’s all find other ways we can make the world a little bit brighter. Yeah, there’s lots of negativity, but I guarantee you those little kindnesses will brighten folks’ days. And maybe we can get them to remember that happy feeling rather than the sadness that comes with the rest of the crap out there.
I find that in order to keep myself from going crazy with all the negativity out there, I find one thing, no matter how small, that’s positive each day and I focus on that because otherwise, I would probably go insane.