I had a somewhat-chance encounter with the Modern Ex over the weekend. You remember him, right? I say somewhat chance because we both go to the same church so it’s not a complete surprise when we see each other at mass.

We caught up after mass, or mostly he told me what was going on in his life. A lot has changed for him in two years. He’s out in the workforce, making money, contemplating moving to a new house, dating his high school girlfriend who’s about to move to town. Yeah, he told me about his girlfriend, which was slightly weird, but I stood there and took it because it’s been two years and he knows good and well that I’m getting married and we’d just read Leviticus 17-18 in mass, the crux of which is ‘do not bear hatred, take no revenge, cherish no grudge and love thy neighbor.’

I’m genuinely happy for him because he seems to be happy, and I’m choosing to believe that happiness wasn’t a facade. I’m happy, so I want him to be happy because I feel like that makes all of the struggles of our relationship and breakup valuable in the end.

And as I listened to him talk about his new life, I was struck by knowing how absolutely miserable the life he’s living now would make me. I would imagine my current life would probably make him miserable too.

And all of that perspective makes me all the more grateful for this guy and the life we’re building together …

Snowshoe, WV, during a much-needed, last-minute getaway in January