My dear friend Noodles is a member of my Bridal Brigade (the phrase I’m using in lieu of bridesmaids, because I don’t like that word for some inexplicable reason). She’s also my designated ‘slapper’ for the wedding, which is the person whose duty it is to slap me if I start acting like a crazy bride or stray too far outside of my personality when planning this wedding. Thankfully her services have not yet been needed.

Noodles and I met when I was interning at a job in Chattanooga, Tenn., in what would have been the spring semester of my junior year of college. I ended up returning to that job after graduation, and our friendship grew. We went to work for the same company after we both left Chattanooga, although she in Chicago and I in Nashville. Our friendship continued to grow to the point that the following conversation is par for the course on any given day.

Her: I told my British co-worker that I was your designated slapper. Apparently that has a different meaning in Britain.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, a slapper is basically a whore.
Me: YES. That makes this even more perfect.
Her: I’ll slap you AND put out for you.
Me: This is why we’re friends.