SPOILER ALERT. STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON’T WANT THE DIRTY DETAILS. YOU’VE DONE BEEN WARNED, AND I SHALL NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU NEGLECT THE WARNING.

Ok, I can’t hold it in anymore: The Modern Gal is ready to talk Sex and the City the movie.

Did you like it? Love it? I’m interested in hearing your specific thoughts about it. What did you love most? Was there anything you HATED?

My main verdict: the movie did not ruin the series. I’m still not sure it was necessary, but I did like it. I wouldn’t give it five stars, but I feel it’s worth seeing for even a casual fan.

That said, I have lots of very specific points to make, so I’ll do so in the oh-so-popular bullet form.

• Length. The movie was waaaaay too long, which is to be expected when TV writers try to write a movie. It was like four episodes put together. Some serious editing could have been done on the first half. We knew much of what was coming thanks to trailers and spoilers. It took much too long to get to the honeymoon part, which was where I felt the real story began.
• Acting. In the first half it was kind of bad. It seemed like everyone was struggling to get back into the characters that they had mastered so well during the series. They were forcing the acting, their voices were often high-pitched and weird. But by the time the honeymoon part rolled around, they seemed to be rolling again and it felt more natural.
• The ending. I loved it, but thought it was completely rushed compared to the beginning. Angie E. tells me she’s heard mixed reactions, with some people claiming that Big always gets his way (in this case with the city hall marriage). I don’t think that’s the case here: Carrie didn’t want a lavish event at the beginning. She bought that vintage skirt suit to be married in and wanted something that was all about them. But she let herself get caught up in the ado everyone else was making about it. I knew as soon as she nodded her head to Enid, that the wedding was going to fall apart, thanks to it not being about Carrie and Big. But how perfect is it for Big to formally propose in a dream closet and seal the deal by placing the shoe on her foot? I’m a big believer that proposals should be personal to the couple involved, and that one was. I also am a big believer that weddings should be personal to the couple involved, and that was the point that was made there.
• Jennifer Hudson. I’ve heard mixed reaction on her role too: overdone, underdone, unnecessary, bad acting. I mostly liked St. Louise’s character, but am not sure she should have been the one to pull Carrie out of her funk. Shouldn’t it have been Samantha/Charlotte/Miranda? I’m not sure her character was totally believable either and I kind of hated the whole Love keychain thing, but I thought she was cute and that the youthful Charlotte-esque optimism was refreshing. Oh, and Meet Me in St. Louis is one of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE old movies. I actually squealed when it was referenced.
• Miranda/Steve. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to avoid all spoilers before the movie, this one somehown found its way to me. I thought it was a good sub-story, though it may have contributed unnecessarily to the length of the movie. But, it was perhaps the most believable part of the movie.
• Samantha/Smith. Their breakup was actually a nice surprise. Boy, that sounds cruel, but it’s true. I know the writers of the series were trying to make a point about love conquering all by keeping Sam and Smith together at the end, but it never seemed natural. The actual breakup part should have been more emotional and it definitely seemed rushed, but it still seemed the right thing to do.
• Charlotte. Yes, the crapping-her-pants thing was funny, although how the heck did her system get so messed up from one accidental slurp of Mexican water? Maybe it was the pudding that did it to her. I actually kind of wished we’d gotten more of Charlotte and WAY more of Harry here. I’ve never loved her so much as I did in the movie (I actually hated her during the Trey phase), but she seemed to get the least screentime of the four. Harry has always been a favorite of mine, and I do love that he was the one that got to deliver the message from Big to Carrie.

I think that’s all the bullet points I had to make about the movie itself. It was fun to see how all the ladies who went on opening night dressed for the occasion. I opted to go a little lower-key, with jeans and a grey baby-doll style shirt, but I had fun accessorizing with my favorite red shoes and earrings. The squeals and screams and such from the sequined-clad crowd during the movie was a smidge annoying, but I suppose it was all part of the opening night experience.

The Modern Beau did hold up his end of the deal by going, and I think he kinda liked the movie. He completely underestimated the commitment in going to see it though. His thought process had been this (which I didn’t find out until after the show): He thought that SATC episodes, like the Sopranos, were an hour long. He reasoned he could handle a 2.5-episode length movie. He’s sat through two episodes in a row before. He has not, however, sat through five of them. As pleased as I was to have him there, I do think it would have been better to see with some galpals.

By the way, I’ve heard from others/attempted myself no less than five uses of “I curse the day you were born.” I smell a catchphrase.

P.S. Dear Michael Patrick King and SJP: NO SEQUELS, PLEASE. If I have to see a movie about a preggers Carrie, I’m throwing my SATC DVD collection off the Brooklyn Bridge.