I’m a little late in getting to this, but I’ve got two fabulous Starbucks coffee mugs to give away to two of my wonderful Modern Friends as a thank you for reading The Modern Gal.
Ok, that’s slightly false pretenses — I obtained the mugs as part of our Dirty Santa gift exchange at work a month ago. My initial pick from the gift pool turned out to be two bags of Starbucks ground coffee, which was a jackpot find for me, but my dear co-worker and fellow coffee snob stole it from me. So my consolation gift was these two mugs with a small package of medium roast Starbucks coffee. The coffee I’m keeping. I’m not a huge fan of Starbucks coffee, but coffee is coffee is coffee.
The mugs are cute, but I have a gazillion coffee mugs anyway, and I prefer my mugs to be shorter and stouter. I tend to lose control of the flow with the tall skinny mugs resulting in me wearing more coffee than I’ve drunk.
So to enter, leave a comment below and in it tell me your favorite corny joke. You can cheat and look one up on the internet if you don’t have one. They don’t have to be clean or coffee-specific. I will do a random drawing on Wednesday, Jan. 21 and post two winners, one for each mug.
I’ll go first with a joke (I admit, I found this one on the internetz, but it happened to be coffee specific, so there you go)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee”.
The husband said, ” You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, ” I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
“HEBREWS”
What’s an Amish woman’s fantasy?
Two Mennonite!
He Brews. Good one!
I don't ever remember jokes except blond jokes (which is just sad because I am a blond!). SO…
Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W's!
I never remember jokes.
And I need more mugs like I need more t-shirts. Seriously, shouldn’t the world maybe take the year off from producing t-shirts and coffee mugs?
Thanks for the offer, though.
Not all of us lawyers are like this (especially not me) but here is a lawyer joke for you:
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese.
I really love the mugs.
I really love that joke.
It’s always made me laugh.
A piece of string walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t serve strings here.”
So the string walks outside, ties himself into a knot, musses up his hair a bit, then walks back in.
Bartender says, “What did I just tell you? You’re a string!”
String says, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
I’m a little behind on my commenting, but promise to get caught up after work today. The only corny joke I can remember is what did daddy and mommy tomato say to baby tomato? KETCHSUP!
Also, no mugs for me, I have more than enough.
LucyDog: Knock Knock
Gump: Who’s there?
LucyDog: Irish
Gump: Irish who?
LucyDog: Irish she’d stop it with her corny jokes.
I am so bad at jokes but I know at least one:
What kind of horses go out at night?
Nighmares
UGH!
I don’t think I’m too late to enter? But if I am, that’s alright.
Anyway, here are some jokes for your laughing pleasure!
What kinds of flowers grow between your nose and your lips?
Tulips!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!