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Birthdays

Birthdays Posted on July 15, 201114 Comments

Yesterday was my 29th birthday, and I purposefully did not mention it anywhere on the internetz (although Facebook ruined my cover). I feel like I say this every single year, but I really hate making a big deal about my birthday.

I’ll make an exception every so often for major milestones like my 21st birthday or years when I need a bit of happiness boost like on my 27th birthday. Otherwise, people seem to find my birthday a far bigger deal than I. The thing is, I usually feel plenty special without needing a day to feel extra-special, and the Modern Mom did all the work on that particular July 14th 29 years ago, so maybe she’s the one who should get all the good wishes. I realize there are very, very good reasons for celebrating birthdays. I just don’t feel like any of them apply to me.

This is not a judgment in any way of any of you who do like to make a big deal about your birthdays. I realize I’m missing some sort of gene or receptor that makes me process birthdays like most humans.

If I REALLY got to celebrate my birthday the way I REALLY wanted to, I’d not have to work. In fact, I might want to time travel back to a time when my birthdays were spent at summer camp. Now THAT would be a treat. Since that’s not an option, I went for take out from one of my favorite restaurants, eaten while watching the first Shakespeare on the Square performance of the season (A Comedy of Errors), Elvis gelato (ahem, peanut butter and banana) and a pint of Smithwick’s, all of which made for a lovely evening.

This is one of the few areas where the Modern Love Machine and I differ. He likes to make a big deal about birthdays. I feel like I both don’t do enough to celebrate his and let him down when I don’t want to do much to celebrate mine.

So in lieu of wishing me a happy birthday here (because it’s not my birthday anymore), please answer me one or more of the following questions: Do you like to make a big deal out of your birthday? If so, why and what can I do to better celebrate my family and friends’ birthdays? If not, why not and how do you end up dealing with your birthday?

*I’m also not doing a 30 for 30 list or any other version, although I am working on cooking up some sort of way to mark next year’s 30th birthday. I feel like I should treat that birthday as a sort of milestone, even if I’m not sure why.

14 comments

  1. Some years I like to celebrate my birthday and some years I like to keep it low-key. Just depends on how I’m feeling at the time. I think a great way to celebrate your husband’s birthday would be to take him out of town. One year for my husband’s birthday I rented a cabin in a state park and invited our friends and we cooked out and drank and had a lovely time. This year will probably be lower-key for him, though, because finances are tight. Stupid economy.

  2. Happy end of the week! ‘Cause if it was like mine … Thank goodness it’s the end. I like making big deal out of friends’ birthdays, but not my own. For starters, there’s the singing. There’s always that awkward moment when, no matter what you’ve done to try to avoid it, people feel they must start singing “Happy Birthday.” And once you’re past 6 … What are you supposed to do? It’s weird to stand (or sit) there while everyone is focused on you half-heartedly singing. It’s rude to run away. Are there other options?

    1. Yep. Fortunately I’ve avoided singing for the past few years, but when I haven’t I think I usually sway awkwardly to the singing. And awkward swaying is awkward.

  3. AB and I also have differing views on birthdays — me, being the one who likes to go ALL OUT on the date. I mean, until this most recent year. I think the desire to do so is waning with age. No surprise there, I’m sure.

    Boyfriend is turning 30 this year, and I’m stuck between wanting to do something awesome for him because he doesn’t want to make a big deal of it AND not planning anything because he does’t care about birthday celebrations.

  4. I came from a family that didn’t make a huge deal out of birthdays. Asa result I do not do so as an adult, though I will admit a part of wants to be pampered and paid attention to every February 18.

    1. I guess that’s fair to say about me. I want my birthday to be acknowledged, but that’s about it. A nice dinner and a card, and I’m just fine.

  5. When I was an exchange student in Germany, one’s birthday always involved a champagne toast. It wasn’t necessarily accompanied by lots of other fanfare (gifts, food, music, partying, etc), but every person’s birthday did have champagne. It seemed sincere, festive, and just right.

  6. i don’t make a big deal about mine, either – mostly it involves going out to a restaurant of my choice. however, i did make a big deal out of my 21st, and my golden birthday (25 on the 25th and it was a saturday!!!), and next year, hopefully plan something fun on my 30th then as well!

  7. Holy sh*t, I’m behind in reading blogs so I didn’t see this until now and I just saw you YESTERDAY and didn’t say anything. I’m so sorry! I hope you had a great birthday and I am so glad we got to meet up for a little bit. Sadly, the apartment showings were a bust, wish I would have stayed with you guys longer!

  8. Wait, was the Chicago trip a birthday trip? How did I miss that?
    I feel birthdays are a lot like New Year’s Eve- a whole lot of fuss and (often) disappointment. I feel like there are often tears. I don’t need that drama. I’d rather spend some quality time with one or two people and do something I love and not make a big deal. I don’t care for parties. That doesn’t mean, though, that I don’t order a cake to feed 40. Just sayin’…

  9. I won’t say happy birthday. 🙂 I’m not a fan of birthdays either. And it’s not some kind of deep-seated thing. I just like everyday days better. I do try to make J a special dinner and a cake on his big day.

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